That's Not Us

Of course you've thought it. I have. We all have. No, I'm not talking about wondering if it's possible to jump from the roof with a garbage bag and float down. I'm talking about when you're in a public place and a noisy baby ruins your whatever-you-were-doing experience. You immediately thought, 'Come on. This is no place for a baby. Please get out.'


My wife read the Hunger Games books and was excited when we got a movie gift certificate for Easter. In less than 24 hours, we were on our way to the movie theater to see the $300 million sensation. I thought this was a bit unfair. The last 4 movies we've seen at the theater were all her choices. Most recently topped off with The Vow. I don't think I've had the privilege of picking a movie since we checked out 'Notorious' from the library. 


Wife decided to take the baby with us. I didn't like this idea at all. Mostly for the reason mentioned in the first paragraph. I didn't want people thinking 'Why would you bring a baby into a movie?' Like most cases, she wasn't changing her mind.  


What's one thing everyone does before going to the movies? You stock your pockets with snacks. (Don't act like you haven't. The only movie theaters this is detrimental to is drive in theaters. They show that scary video about them shutting down if you don't buy snack there.) I packed 3 organic carrots and a Malley's Pretzel Chocolate bar. They didn't fit in my pockets - so I put them in the baby carrier. After hauling that thing around for months it's finally starting to pay dividends. 


As usual, I finished all my snacks before the end of the third preview. I was very nervous of the Kicker having an outburst. He doesn't know you have to be quiet in a theater. He knows only one thing: "I need something, make noise." I was on edge the whole time. This was the only time I've ever been to a theater hoping there would be someone obnoxious there. Anyone to take away the attention away from our inevitable baby outburst.


No sooner did Katniss volunteer in her sisters place did Kicker fall asleep. He made it through the whole movie without waking up. Not one sound. All this worrying about if he would be fussy and distract viewers for naught. 


Matt, Wife, and Kicker: coming to a theater near you.