After finding out about the pregnancy, the process that follows is a lot like floating down a lazy river.
Lazy River's are my favorite attractions at any water park. There's never a line to get in the river. It's an opportunity to grab a tube and float down a water loop of tranquility and catch up on some rest. Grab your boo and hold hands as the river jets send you both bouncing off rocky walls and through the fun water ways. But, as any lazy river fanatic knows that's never how it works. There's always wacky kids trying to get around the lazy river as fast as they can, completely defeating the purpose of a LAZY river. They nearly tip over other floaters and create too many unnecessary waves. Lifeguards blow the whistles constantly, ruining the peaceful atmosphere. And the trickling water from above bridges and rocks are more like waterfalls of doom.
Here's where the analogy of the lazy river and post-finding-out-pregnancy process relates...(as always, thoughts in italics)
After the wife and I discover the wonderful news of the pregnancy we grab a two-person tube and step into the shallow waters of the lazy river of pregnancy. It's a bit chilly at first, but it doesn't take long to get used to. We sit down on the tube and let the flow of the river wash us toward our 9 month destination. As we grab hands on the tube we look at each other and think, Hmmm, this isn't so bad. We can do this! The flow of the river is steady and light. It's not too fast, and not too slow. Then from out of nowhere, a rowdy group of splashing kids comes by. Look out! Splish-splash! "Is it a boy or girl?" It's been two weeks since we found out we were pregnant. Let's go step by step here. "Are you gonna find out?" Yes, but you'll be the last to know. "If it's a girl what's the name?" Ira Fuse "What about a boy?" Seymour Butts "You should name it Eduardo!" Do we look Colombian? It's not so much the asking about the gender and name as it is the obtuse suggestions. Eduardo? Really?The splashing children will make their presence known here and there throughout the lazy river of pregnancy.
Just as we get used to the easy going pace of the river, the first ultrasound comes along at 12 weeks. At this point, we realized we have been floating for a good while now. The whole first trimester is over. We've hit the water jets in the river and picked up some speed. With the speed comes a lot of spinning around in the tube. That dizzying feeling is mirrored in the feelings felt after the first couple doctor visits. Eat this, don't eat that. Exercise, but not too vigorously. Take vitamins, walk frequently. Etc......It's a wild ride.
Finally, on any good lazy river there are waterfalls! Everyone tries to do the same thing to avoid these waterfalls too. They'll kick off the wall with their feet, or paddle frantically with their fingers (b/c there's no physical way to get any leverage when your rump sinks and wedges into the impossibly tight tube locking your arms and legs in place). But, the waterfalls plunge off the top of bridges directly onto the middle of the river, or they careen from the side walls along the river. The waterfalls are unavoidable. These waterfalls are a huge part of the pregnancy river too. The fact that they're powerful, unavoidable, and completely dousing make them a perfect analogy.
Waterfalls are the realization that you - yes you - are going to be a father. I enjoy doing things with Wife, or by myself when she's not around. My life is spent running, working out, swimming, hiking, building fires, working hard, fixing my car, going to the lake, reading, going out the the funnest places around town, and doing about a million more things. Now, I realized that I can't just think about me, or me and Wife. We have to welcome a third party. Back when me and Wife were dating, I began to realize how selfless the act of love was. Life became less about me, and more about us. Being on this lazy river of pregnancy together, we're about to hit some waterfalls of truth.
My first waterfall on this river came after the first ultrasound (about 13 weeks). As I saw the images of a child in my wife's uterus, it sank in to my brain that this is real. I am that child's father. I didn't think I could pull it off. Other men can, not me though. A while after the ultrasound I told my wife what I was thinking. I told her that I still like playing in tree forts, romping through the woods, exploring outside, building things with legos, and playing whiffle ball. "How can a child raise a child!?!" I exclaimed. In her infinite wisdom, my wife's rebuttal was on the money. "Well," she began. "If you still like to do those things, I guess our son is going to be pretty lucky to have you as a dad."
My wife got soaked by a waterfall on the lazy river of pregnancy also. Her body has slowly morphed from usual-her, to this round-bellied version of her. We spent a week on vacation at the Jersey Shore during her 19th week. There weren't any full-length mirrors at our rental house there. She went about 8 days without seeing her full image. Upon our return home, she was shocked. She had the opportunity to see her full figure in our mirror here at home. The realization that her body was physically changing was a lot to digest. She's used to looking in a mirror and seeing usual-her. The petite little figure she is. But staring into a mirror at 20 weeks of pregnancy, a lot changed. And it didn't seem like the real her was being reflected back. I wish I had something wonderfully comforting to say after she told me about crying after looking in the mirror. But she's doing great now regardless. We get to see and feel kicks from her growing belly. And I think she looks better than ever.
I was drenched from the reality of that first waterfall. It overwhelmed me quite a bit. But we got through it. Her waterfall hit hard to. But it wasn't enough to knock either one of us out of the river. The neat part about our trip down the lazy river is that we still sit in the same two-person tube together. That's the best way to travel down the river...together. I wouldn't want to float down this river alone, and I know she's the same way. And we've held hands the whole time. We're over half way around the lazy river of pregnancy at this point. There will be more splashing kids, fast currents, spinning, and big waterfalls too. But it's way more manageable if we're holding hands.
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