Funny Joke Girl...You Should Tell It Again

With wife working nights and me working days, our schedules overlap at odd hours. On this particular day, she was arriving home early in the morning just as I was crawling out of bed.

I'm very vulnerable in the morning. As my body wakes up, my brain remains tucked snugly under the covers resting on the pillow. Wife saw this as an opportune time to break me some big news. As I made my way down the hallway in my undergarments, my eyes still sealed shut, she began...(my thoughts in italics)

"Ummm, you know how I haven't been feeling good lately? Well, I took some pregnancy tests at work, just to be sure." 

Brain, you may want to get out of bed for this one. Hurry up now, she's still talking...

"It said I was pregnant."

I've seen this scene play out in movies before...

"Then, just to make sure, I took two more. And THEY were all positive too."

React to this news please. Make the reaction exciting enough so she doesn't feel scared or think you don't care.

I respond, "Wow, are you serious? How do you feel?" 

Good job! Slight surprising disbelief, and you also checked up on her feelings! I've learned so much from my past mistakes and am now applying it!

"Yeah," she says, "I wasn't sure at first, which is why I took a couple more to make sure. What do you think?"

Here's what I think: Can we afford this? We have some money saved up, and can supplement that by taking out an additional 10% from my paychecks. She has to complete school still. If she can have the baby during a school break, she won't have to miss classes at all and can still graduate one year from now. We're also gonna need a bigger apartment. We can either look in the building we're presently at or go somewhere else. I have a flexible schedule at work. That way I can watch the baby while she's at school and she can watch the baby while I go into work later. Let's do this.


Here's what I say: "That's awesome!"

She hit's me with this line, "What is today?"

Not knowing what that has to do with anything I tell her, "Friday, April 1st. Why?"

She smiles and asks, "Does that day mean anything to you?"

I search my brain. April 1st is significant...Oh yeah! Of course! I can't believe I almost forgot. 


"It's Opening Day!" I proudly respond. "We're going to the Indians' Home Opener!" We've had these tickets since December.

Still smiling she says, "Yeah, and what else?"

Oh, now I get it. "This is a joke isn't it?" I ask. "It's April Fools Day." She's a funny one that wife. She sure knows how to greet a guy 45 seconds after he wakes up.


Fast forward 19 days.


I'm at the office when I get a text from my wife that reads, "CALL ME." All caps, this must be important.

Hoping that we've just won some large sum of money that will pay off our school debt, I dial her cell. "What's up girl?"

I hear her breathing fast, nearly hyperventilating, and almost in tears. "I just took a pregnancy test," she says. "It was positive!"