Breaking News

This will have to be a hasty post. I've got a 7 month old tearing into an 8-pack of paper towels like it's Christmas morning, and my wife is inviting me to the 2 hour season premier of Bachelor Pad after making me sit through a 3 hour season finale of the Bachelorette last night. Bliss.

Ever build a sandcastle at the beach? Invest enough time into the sand creation and you'll guard it from any potential threat that may knock it down. One thing you can't defend against is the incoming tide. The waves WILL have their way with the sandy fortress. It's frustrating. All the time put into building the castle now feels like a waste. 

But the next time you build a sand castle, it's always better than the last. That's because you learn from the last castle. The new castle will have stronger walls, better shaped windows, and sturdier bridges. 

That's what I've learned in the last year. 

We had our plan set about how things were going to be - when to buy a house, where to work, weekly routine, etc. - but then we got a shocking surprise with a baby on the way. Plans changed.

Then the baby arrived and we went into a prevent defense. Had to think on our toes and not give up any big plays. We gave up our pre-baby routine for a new one. Plans changed.

We're finally getting comfortable with the baby and how to raise a child. It's a trip. We have our routine set, made financial strategies, and are finally (yes it takes a while, esp. for me) coming to terms with the new baby lifestyle. But then...Plans changed again.

We visited the doctor today to confirm the positive result on that pregnancy test. And we've got a new baby on the way. The Kicker will show his kicking ways to a younger sibling!

The tide came in. The waves wrecked our old sandcastle. All that hard work just to have to build a new one. 

Our plans are like sandcastles. Both get broken down and have to be rebuilt. But that's the best part. They get rebuilt stronger every time they get made over. Here's to new sandcastles and new plans!

Let's Zoo This Thing

What secret do all citizens of Cuyahoga County know? Where is the one place you can find Cuyahoga Co. residents of each race, religion, and income bracket during the first day of the week? Everyone knows that the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo is FREE to Cuy Co. residents every Monday!


Wife has been begging me to make our annual trip to the zoo all summer. Being the intelligent man I am, I obviously chose against going in the summer. Three reasons: 1.Too many summer camp kids (they come in bus loads and travel in amoeba-like groups of neon green t-shirts that swallow people up as they walk along).  2.Too many moms taking their kids who are out of school (they smudge their peanut butter and jelly finger prints on every glass surface the zoo owns, effectively inhibiting my view of the wildlife).  And 3.Parking is impossible (You have to park at the Rainforest...literally. Not the Cleveland one that's there at the zoo, the one that's being chopped down in the Amazon. That's the reason they're chopping the rainforests down, to make room for parking in Cleveland).


Those three were the big reasons why we chose to go to free Monday at the zoo in the fall. Besides, the weather was mid-70's and spot on today. This zoo trip was different though. This is the first zoo time we've had where Wife was pregnant. We knew that we would have to walk at a slower pace and take more frequent breaks. That's fine. She was excited to go, and I was happy to be able to spend our off day together.


After driving to the wrong entrance of the park, parking 3/4 mile away, and waiting in an unnecessary ticket line, we got to the zoo. We brought our camera to take some pics of us enjoying the day, then I had a great idea: why don't we take pictures of all the animals, then make some sort of photo book on Shutterfly that we could read to the Kicker when he's born? This was on of my best yet. We wouldn't show him some book company's pictures, we could show him our own! And Shutterfly has this cool service where you can design a book online of your own pictures and words, and they send you a hardbound copy of it in the mail. I can see us reading it to Kicker, showing him lions, and tigers, and monkeys and stuff - all pictures we took.


We got to work snapping some real lively shots. Without going into much detail, here are some of the pics...

Take a good look. If we decide to use these pictures for a "baby's first book of animals" type deal, our poor kid is gonna be at a major disadvantage come kindergarten. He'll be the only 6yr old in the class who thinks wildlife is either always sleeping, or always looking the opposite direction. He will be able to recognize animals by their butts though. Not many kids can do that. 


These are the chances we take when going to the zoo. I was praying that the polar bear would just do just one cannonball into the frigid waters of his exhibit. Or that the cheetahs would want to spend one quick minute sprinting around their cage. This was not the case. The Kicker will have to be content with some pretty lame photos of some pretty bored animals. (seriously though, love the CleMetZoo)


As we were leaving, we both realized something: the next time we visit the zoo, we're going to be pushing a stroller. What a weird thought. We're probably going to want to put him in a neon green shirt to keep track of him better; and since it's easy to pack, he's going to have a PB&J for lunch when we bring him too. 

Species: Tyrannosaurs Wifeus

Location: Seemingly Everywhere

This photo was taken of a pregnant human female at a zoo. Here, she has visited a local watering hole while deciding to take a break after much travel on her feet. In her hands is the currency humans use to trade for food and drink. Before approaching the watering hole, the pregnant female successfully negotiated the currency away from the alpha male husband. The alpha male husband has the last laugh though, as he posts this picture up on his electronic internet story center known as a blog. 

Happy Third Trimester Day

Big day. The three of us - Wife, the Kicker, and me - just started the last third of this wild pregnancy. 


10:00AM - Today started out with a mission. Here's the deal: Wife still hasn't changed her last name to mine. It's been almost 4 years since we got married. It's not like we haven't tried to change her last name, it's just been a long process.........of not actually trying. After the wedding, life was kind of wild and we had to move around a bit. Once we got settled in a place, we made a pact that we would at least try and change her last name by the time we had a baby. Well guess what? Re-read the title if you must, the clock's almost expired - it's time to take care of business.


Last year, we were thinking of getting passports and figured that would be reason enough to change the last name. When we went to the courthouse, they told us we were in the wrong county. They told us to go to the original county where we got the marriage license. Shucks. All that work for nothing. How do we respond to that setback? We go to Canada the month before they make the mandatory passport rule. Take that lawmakers. 


Fast forward to last week. Wife sees fit to fill our day off together by wanting to get her last name changed. That's cool with me. She's fun to hang with. We walk onto the 7th floor of courthouse number two. 
(my thoughts in italics)


Sassy lady: Can I help you? 
Me: Yes, we would like to get my wife's name changed.
Sassy lady: Let me see what you have.
(we hand over our papers)
Sassy lady: You know this is from 3 years ago!!
I'm aware we're not on top of this post-marriage task. But better late than never Miss Sassy pants.
Me: Yes yes, that's when we got hitched! Thought we'd take our time!
Well that was the stupidest thing you could have said. She's clearly not into your dull attempt at humor.
Sassy lady: Well this ain't gonna work. You're in the wrong building. You're not even in the right county. 
Of course.
Sassy lady: What you're gonna have to do is...mumbo jumbo mumbo jumbo.......
This happens every time. Important information is being communicated to my ears. I hear it, but I don't understand it. None of what she says is being processed right now. Except.......
Sassy lady: ...300 dollars...mumbo jumbo mumbo jumbo.......
There it is. It's all white noise until a price is named. Wrong place - check. We owe someone a mass amount of money - check.
Sassy lady: Go over to that counter (pointing) and they'll give you more information. 


All I can do is rapidly blink. Thanks to Wife, we somehow spoke to someone who helped straighten this thing out. We paid two bucks for a copy of an important form and got an address to a building in another county to get the name changed. 


Fast forward again to today. Another day off, another day attempting to get that name changed. We went to the right building. We took a number, then sat in the waiting area hoping today may be the day she gets her name finally changed. Then 10 feet away at our 1 o'clock, we hear it.......


Crazy woman: Aboosha boo! A boo boo boo! Hewo wittle wan! Who's my wittle man?
Me: (whispering) What....was......THAT?
Wife: (talking normal level) Some lady is over there talking to that baby in baby-talk!
Me: (whispering) Please saw my ears of right now.
Wife: (talking above normal level) Who does that, it's SO ANNOYING!
Me: (whispering) She may be annoying, but she's not deaf. 
Crazy woman: A woo woo hoo! Ba ba ba baby! walalalawoo!
Me: Ok, I'm going to go smash my head against a wall.
Wife: I hope no one talks to our kid like that. 
Me: That's not even a language. How can the baby ever learn to talk when he's spoken to in a non-existent dialect?
Announcement: U254, U254
Wife: That's us. Let's go, I can't take this anymore.


It was a seamless process. Name changed. The powers that be officially know that Wife now has a different last name.


Jordan fades back....swoosh! And that's the game! Oh and a bit of advice if you ever plan on taking a tour of every courthouse in Northeast Ohio like we did: Don't carry a pocket knife with you. The police will not hold on to it for you while you're wandering around their building. But if you happen to forget that tidbit of advice, give me a call. I have a few secret knife-burial spots in front of the courthouses around the landscaping. Boom.


Just when I thought the name-change business is over...
Wife: Finally! Now I'm gonna have to change my license, notify HR, get a library card, let the bank know.......
Me: Woah woah whoa. Let's not be too hasty. I say we wait a while to notify everything else.
Wife: That makes no sense.
Me: Think about it. You exist in this amorphous grey area with two names. You can commit a crime under one name, and you're really another. We could transfer a bunch of money to some offshore bank account under one name, and pick it up under your new name. They'll be busy chasing the old you that doesn't exist! Keep all your old documents! The Man will never catch on!
Wife: You have some issues you need to work through. 
Me: Opportunity of a lifetime. All I'm sayin'.




Another sign of the changing times hit later today. After we had returned home, and I fed Wife (she had a mad craving for a particular dish we shared with some friends three-and-a-half years ago. My buddy Sea-Jay made these little pizzas out of a french baguette, and Wife wanted one of those exactly. We made them, and they were tasty.). 


I then took to the park for a bike ride. Everything is soaked because we've been trapped under another one of the 278 yearly low pressure systems that get comfortable around Cleveland. Either way, I needed some fresh air. Some days when I bike, I pretend I'm running from the Law. Today was one of those days. Nothing stands in the way of me and warp speed on two wheels. 


Zipping through the paved trail, I recall entering into a wooded area. Last time I went through this area it was a lush green forest. On this day - the day of the Third Trimester - there were red leaves, and yellow leaves, and leaves falling. Fall is making it's presence known. I immediately stopped running from the law and realized something: 

it's time to start getting used to all these changes. 

Perhaps it's poetic that on the day we enter into the Third Trimester we also get a name changed and see all the leaves change too. Shocking as these changes may be, these are great changes! It's fall 'yall! Who doesn't like hot apple cider, leaves, hiking, cool air, football, and pumpkins? And Wife officially shares my last name. Now our leasing office won't have to assume we're just living together but that we're actually married! 


And the coolest change is what's been happening with the Kicker. The books say his iris's can react to light, his lungs are maturing, he can move in rhythm to music (something I still can't do), he's about 15 inches long and if the Kicker were born right now, he'd have a pretty good chance at survival. Really neat. 


These are some changes I can get used to.

Feeling in the fall mood? Read on! 

http://cneading.wordpress.com/2011/09/29/i-love-fall-part-2-lynd-farms/