Vow This

Sucked in to go see The Vow.  I use that specific phrasing because there are some movies we have to go see whether I like it or not.  I knew this wasn't going to be a great movie watching experience the second I walked in. 


With half of the theater filled, I was the only guy, and we were the oldest people. Median age was about 13. What I couldn't figure out was what interest any 13 year olds would have in a movie about wedding vows. I was also bummed b/c there was no wi-fi connection there and I couldn't check on the Cavs game.


Finally, another guy walked in with his girlfriend. I wasn't alone. But he was 16 at best. I was still the senior of the room. I was afraid of being bombarded afterward to be the guy to buy everyone alcohol at the gas station across the street.


The previews started...then they never stopped. It was one preview after another. At one point I became very concerned. I leaned over to Wife and asked, "Did I pay $21 to come watch a bunch of previews or an actual movie?" It didn't stop there. The $21 previews couldn't even be enjoyed because of all the talking going on. It was a steady sound of murmuring in the background. That's fine, who doesn't enjoy a movie with the white noise of childhood chatter? 


When the movie started, Channing Tatum spent spent a decent amount of time with his shirt off. And now I see what interest 13 year old girls would have in this movie. My interest? None at all. As the movie progressed, there was plenty of opportunity for crying. The audience provided a swell surround sound experience of sniffles. Nothing says 'good time' like hearing 250 people simultaneously sniff their running noses. 


Throughout this whole movie I kept leaning over to tell Wife my newest observational complaints. She'd laugh and agree. We had a great time. By the end of the movie - and after my complaining was over - Wife shot in a slick comment: "You sounded like Dennis the Mennace's next door neighbor Mr. Wilson. Always grumping"


She was right. I immediately saw myself years ahead yelling at the neighbor kids to get off my lawn. That's not what I want. They should be able to use my yard to extend their Whiffle ball field.  Or use it for more space to toss the Frisbee. Or use it to play catch. 


But so help me, if they let their dog poop on my lawn.......

Off Days Are Now On Days

When did the off day become the busiest day of the week? It was great when the off day meant unlimited possibilities. Now the off day means check marks in the boxes of a to-do list. Has this  happened to you? 


Today was one such example.....


We had a doctor's appointment to check on the baby early this morning. Wife says early appointments are better because you don't get backed up in the waiting room like later in the day. She's right; but now I'm dozing off while reading the news and surrounded by pregnant ladies. Being at these 2 week check ups makes me feel like I'm an important part of the baby process. It makes me feel all grown up and mature asking important questions about the baby.


Still on the topic of being all grown up. The nurse showed us into the room. I went to take my keys out of my pocket and noticed my fly was wide open. Not just cracked open or halfway unzipped; it was as if my zipper called in sick that day and didn't show up for work. At least I hadn't spent the last 23 minutes in a waiting room full of ladies, then standing around a bunch of nurses while Wife's blood pressure was being taken. Could you have imagined if that would have happened?!


There's never a moment so awkward as when you're all alone with your significant other waiting for the nurse. It's like regressing to the moment in the relationship when you both first met. The room sits in complete quiet. Any talking we do is at whisper level for some reason. To break the weird silence, I decided to ask Wife a question I'd been thinking about.


Me: What should we do with the chord blood?
Wife: Nothing. There's no way we can afford to have it frozen and stored.
Me: Idea. What if we took the chord blood and froze it ourselves. Just in case we needed it for a major operation someday (before you wince in disgust, chord blood contains essential stem cells that can treat major diseases or something. Most effective when used within family)
Wife: That's illegal. They didn't let you keep your appendix when they removed that did they?
Me: That's not fair though. It was MY appendix. I grew up with it. Same with the chord blood. 
Wife: It's disgusting. We'll donate it. I'm not having chord blood frozen in our home somewhere.
Me: Fine....................Think it's still possible to get my appendix back?


We headed downtown after the appointment to meet with our financial advisor. She does an incredible job helping us situate our finances and make smart money choices. We thought it wise to seek her counsel with how to strategically allocate our monies with a baby on the way. We sat and spoke for about 3 hours. We left with a plan in place and completely exhausted.  


We got home a full work shift - 8 hours - after we had left in the morning. 


Winding down with a movie sounded good. Wife suggested the movie Sanctum. It's about a team of spelunking cave adventurers that get trapped in the worlds largest underground cave. The whole movie consisted of people swimming and crawling through narrow and closed passes. This was perfect for a guy who's claustrophobic.


Let's be clear about one thing: I'm not afraid of encloses spaces.......I just start to pass out if I happen to have no exit in a small space. There's a difference. After spending the whole movie with my head between my knees to keep the blood flowing to my brain, the movie ended. 


This was the "off day." Waiting, fly open, doctors, driving, downtown, meetings, scary dumb movies, etc. Is this how to spend our time off?


It's good though. What kind of parent's would we be if we weren't taking the proper precautions for the baby? We have peace of mind that his heartbeat is normal, and his health is in check. We're prepared for the delivery. We are taking the right financial steps in considering his future. Watching a movie that induces my fear of enclosed places really has nothing to do with preparing for the baby. But everything else is worth the busy off day. 


He better thank us someday.

Tough Mudder

Sitting around the apt the other day, I wanted to tell Wife some great news. Full of emotion and excitement, I broke this to her........


Me: Check this video out. I'm doing this in April!


We proceed to watch this clip......

Me: I'm so jacked, I can't wait.
Wife: Yeah, you're not doing that.
Me: What?!
Wife: You're gonna get yourself killed. I don't need our new baby with a dad that got shocked to death at the finish line of some stupid race. 
Me: It's only 10,000 volts. I'll be fine.
Wife: That might be the dumbest idea I've ever seen. What's wrong with just staying home?
Me: It's a way to prove I'm a warrior.
Wife: Then go for a jog through the woods or something. 


Should have seen this coming. Wife and I have been together for almost 9 years now (5 dating 4 married). In that amount of time, I should have known how to better approach her with this news. 


She asks a great question though, "What's wrong with just staying at home?" My response was slightly exaggerated - the part about being a warrior. But really, sometimes a guy just has to prove something to himself. Right? 

• Maybe a there is a broken blender in the house. Guy wants to take it apart and fix it, Girl wants to go get a new one from Target. (we got a new one from Target, I couldn't figure the stupid thing out).
• Where can we put our keys to keep them in one spot? Guy wants to build a keyring holder for the wall, Girl wants to buy one that matches the rest of the room. (We presently have a non-matching makeshift keyring holder built by yours truly). 
• Traveling to some relatives house that you haven't been to in a while? Guy swears he can find the place from memory, Girl wants to alleviate any threat of being lost by bringing a GPS just to be safe. (We've done both plenty of times, but when we do have the GPS, I pretend not to look at it)

Why the need to do unnecessary things when there are other - usually safer and less stressed - options? I don't know the answer. All I have are examples. Sometimes a guy's gotta face down a challenge. He has to prove his worth. Practicality is meaningless in these situations. It's a modern day showdown at high noon. 

I had to change my tire recently. This isn't very difficult. On this occasion though, it was dark and the lug nuts were rusted on tight. After a good half-hour and finally getting on the spare, I went upstairs victorious. My hands were dirty. Dirty hands are great. I love when my hands are dirty. It usually means I was doing some type of challenging work. 

It is October of 2011. A century ago, it took a lot of hard work and physical labor to maintain a home and look out for a family. Centuries before that it took even more work. Centuries before that, and so on. Today, the labor factor is greatly lifted due to technology, but the need to conquer a task is still there.  Maybe that's why the Tough Mudder is so appealing, because it gives us a chance to conquer something. 

So far, I've sort of been able to persuade Wife to let me go to the Tough Mudder (like I need her permission!). As long as I bring someone with me. I think her exact words were, "Someone who can keep you in control and make sure you don't do anything stupid." That sounds about right. 

Takers? Anyone? Teammates? 

Practice

We parked on the 5th floor of a 9 floor parking garage. This was only one of many parking garages in the area. There are numerous buildings, courtyards, and streets running through. We scaled stairs, elevators, corridors, and crossed roads. No, we weren't navigating our way through the city. Wife and I were just trying to find our way through the hospital at which the Kicker would be delivered. This hospital can be easily confused with a large metropolis. They are similar in size, population, and zip codes. But we were here for a reason - "The Prenatal Hospital Tour."


The Prenatal Hospital Tour offers soon-to-be parents an opportunity to get familiar with what to expect on Labor Day. It's a chance to get a feel for what it will be like for go-time. A sort of "practice" if you will. I'm thinking, I'm sitting here as a franchise dad and we talkin' about practice. Not the birth, not the birth, not the birth...practice. How am I supposed to make the birth better by practice? I know it's important, I honestly do. But we're talkin' about practice. 

Together we walked down a hallway and were quickly ushered into the room where we would all meet. I expected there to be about 5 other couples coming out to this thing on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Turns out half of Cleveland and it's surrounding communities are all having babies at this hospital in the next three months. 


The room reminded me of college. It had a big screen in front, projector, a podium, and stadium seating with those little half-desks that swing up from the side of the seat. But we did get a chance to have some food and water before we sat down - college never had that in class. I finished eating my plate of food before Wife did. This is nothing new. Then I got thirsty and reached for her water bottle. 


Wife: Hey! What are you doing, go up and get your own water bottle.
Me: I'm only going to have a couple sips; and you know you NEVER finish anything. So there will be plenty to spare.
(silence)
Wife: Fine. Just leave enough for me.


This particular water bottle was one with a nozzle on top. It reminded me of the ones we used in High School during sports. So I drank out of it.............like I was in High School playing sports. I held the water bottle about 6 inches away and squirted it. Kind of like you see football players do on the sidelines. This did not sit well with Wife.......


Wife: What are you DOING?
Me: Taking a few sips. Relax.
Wife: Can't you just drink like a normal human being?


Still waiting for the presentation to start.


Me: I need a pen to take notes.
Wife: Let me see if I have one. 
(shuffles though purse)
Wife: Sorry, I don't have a pen.
Me: Your purse can hold 8 NBA size basketballs. You could pack for a world tour in there and you don't have a pen?


This is how we set the tone for the afternoon.


My mind always wanders in settings like this. I saw a very aged man in the hallway walking past this room full of pregnant ladies and their partners. He slowed down almost as if he was going to join in on the class. I was thinking Pleeeeease be on your way into our room! How cool would it be if that fella and his wife were pregnant? Unfortunately, he carried on his merry way. Too bad, I had a name picked out for him and everything.......Abraham. 


I also recall the nurse that was making the presentation. She had the biggest hands I've ever seen. Like something out of a Tim Burton movie. I spent about 9 minutes trying to figure out how it would feel to be punched in the face by her. This is my world. 


My imagination was quickly jolted out of auto-pilot by a statement that caught my attention. Big fist lady said "Newborns will need to be changed about 10-12 times a day for a while." Funny. I had to check if she was lying.


Me: Is that true? 10-12 times?
Wife: Yeah, you have to keep on top of that.
Me: That's like...once every 2 hours. 
Wife: Great math.
Me: Can we start potty training now?


Big Fists also began to talk about the time right after birth when Kangaroo Care begins. That's when the baby is placed on the mother's belly and there's some kind of Kangaroo connection that forms. I don't know, I only caught parts of it. But for the first hour after birth, the lady said this is when the baby will be most alert and receptive to the new world. It's the perfect opportunity to give the Kicker his first glove and ball. 


The lecture carried on. Just as I began to nod off, Big Fists exclaimed, "Ok everybody, at this time we're going to take a guided tour of all the areas in the hospital you will be on delivery day." 


She showed us how to check in. Wheelchairs. The delivery floor. LDR (labor delivery recovery) rooms. The nursery. Other rooms. Policies. Peoples. It was a very beneficial tour. Now it was time to leave. 


On our way back to the car, Wife said, "The next time we're here, we'll be having a baby!" Immediate loss of blood in my head ensued. I began to breathe deep and slow while acting cool. Then a flood of thoughts poured in my head: Where were we supposed to park? Can I get her a wheelchair? Which elevator was it that took us up to delivery? Where was delivery? What do we pack? 


Practice. This is why practice is important. How we perform in the big game, under pressure, when every decision is important is contingent on how well we practice. Especially when Labor Day is two months away. 

All Because of the Crib

Turns out ordering the crib and having it delivered was a good idea. If I recall the discussions correctly, Wife advised we get all our baby room furniture to match. She was right. My plan - no joke - was to go to the lumberyard and construct my own baby crib out of raw materials. Looking back now, that was a stupid plan. 

We spent about an hour putting the crib up last week. I did all the labor, and Wife provided the encouragement while seated in the rocking chair. It wasn't too difficult though. Wife and I did get into a small dispute about where in the room to put the crib. 

Wife: Ok, now move the crib over by the wall in front of the door.

Me: No, I'm putting it by the window.

Wife: Why would you put it by the window?

Me: So he can absorb the sunlight needed to grow up strong.

Wife: Why do you say dumb things?

Me: It's not dumb, it's true. He'll be able to get his energy from the sun like his ol' dad.

Wife: Or, we can put it in front of the door so when we walk by the room we can just peek in and see him to make sure he's ok.

Me: What about the sun?

Wife: We'll put the rocking chair there. You can hold him in the sun all you want. 

Me: I like that. Good idea. 

Walking by the baby room, the crib sits in plain view. I pass the room often. I picture the Kicker sleeping in there. With the crib being put together, the baby room looks more like a baby room and less like a spare bedroom. The whole construction of the crib seemed to tie things together and bring the baby idea to life. All because of the crib.

Not long after the crib construction, me and the Kicker started a new thing. Anytime I put my hand on Wife's belly, Kicker responds. No lie. I usually say something like, "Hey, you better not be keeping your mom up at night." Or, "Make sure you're getting all your vitamins." And, "I know it's cramped, but try some plyometrics or push ups if you have the available space." Kicker quickly responds with - what I believe to be - a fist bump. Or possibly a swift kick of acknowledgement. Either way, we are communicating quite effectively. 

He's starting to become a person. The baby has a bed now. And the three of us are loosely hanging out together. As of late, I've been wondering what it would be like to hold the Kicker when he's born. He'll be visible and touchable. I won't have to picture him in his crib, or imagine what his reactions are to my comments. Since I had all this on my mind, I told Wife about it. 

Me: I can't wait to hold the baby when he's born. I keep thinking about it.

Wife: Can you believe it's so close?

Me: Will the doctor give me a blanket to hold him?

Wife: Actually, the mother is usually the first to hold the baby.

Me: You'll be passed out won't you? When will I get him?

Wife: After me. But he'll be covered in blood and fluid and all red and nasty anyways. 

Me: Nevermind. 

It's been a wild week. Call it a "waterfall moment" or something (waterfall moment explained). The baby seems to be more real, more tangible. Everything was fine up until a week ago. I guess it's all because of the crib.  

Happy Third Trimester Day

Big day. The three of us - Wife, the Kicker, and me - just started the last third of this wild pregnancy. 


10:00AM - Today started out with a mission. Here's the deal: Wife still hasn't changed her last name to mine. It's been almost 4 years since we got married. It's not like we haven't tried to change her last name, it's just been a long process.........of not actually trying. After the wedding, life was kind of wild and we had to move around a bit. Once we got settled in a place, we made a pact that we would at least try and change her last name by the time we had a baby. Well guess what? Re-read the title if you must, the clock's almost expired - it's time to take care of business.


Last year, we were thinking of getting passports and figured that would be reason enough to change the last name. When we went to the courthouse, they told us we were in the wrong county. They told us to go to the original county where we got the marriage license. Shucks. All that work for nothing. How do we respond to that setback? We go to Canada the month before they make the mandatory passport rule. Take that lawmakers. 


Fast forward to last week. Wife sees fit to fill our day off together by wanting to get her last name changed. That's cool with me. She's fun to hang with. We walk onto the 7th floor of courthouse number two. 
(my thoughts in italics)


Sassy lady: Can I help you? 
Me: Yes, we would like to get my wife's name changed.
Sassy lady: Let me see what you have.
(we hand over our papers)
Sassy lady: You know this is from 3 years ago!!
I'm aware we're not on top of this post-marriage task. But better late than never Miss Sassy pants.
Me: Yes yes, that's when we got hitched! Thought we'd take our time!
Well that was the stupidest thing you could have said. She's clearly not into your dull attempt at humor.
Sassy lady: Well this ain't gonna work. You're in the wrong building. You're not even in the right county. 
Of course.
Sassy lady: What you're gonna have to do is...mumbo jumbo mumbo jumbo.......
This happens every time. Important information is being communicated to my ears. I hear it, but I don't understand it. None of what she says is being processed right now. Except.......
Sassy lady: ...300 dollars...mumbo jumbo mumbo jumbo.......
There it is. It's all white noise until a price is named. Wrong place - check. We owe someone a mass amount of money - check.
Sassy lady: Go over to that counter (pointing) and they'll give you more information. 


All I can do is rapidly blink. Thanks to Wife, we somehow spoke to someone who helped straighten this thing out. We paid two bucks for a copy of an important form and got an address to a building in another county to get the name changed. 


Fast forward again to today. Another day off, another day attempting to get that name changed. We went to the right building. We took a number, then sat in the waiting area hoping today may be the day she gets her name finally changed. Then 10 feet away at our 1 o'clock, we hear it.......


Crazy woman: Aboosha boo! A boo boo boo! Hewo wittle wan! Who's my wittle man?
Me: (whispering) What....was......THAT?
Wife: (talking normal level) Some lady is over there talking to that baby in baby-talk!
Me: (whispering) Please saw my ears of right now.
Wife: (talking above normal level) Who does that, it's SO ANNOYING!
Me: (whispering) She may be annoying, but she's not deaf. 
Crazy woman: A woo woo hoo! Ba ba ba baby! walalalawoo!
Me: Ok, I'm going to go smash my head against a wall.
Wife: I hope no one talks to our kid like that. 
Me: That's not even a language. How can the baby ever learn to talk when he's spoken to in a non-existent dialect?
Announcement: U254, U254
Wife: That's us. Let's go, I can't take this anymore.


It was a seamless process. Name changed. The powers that be officially know that Wife now has a different last name.


Jordan fades back....swoosh! And that's the game! Oh and a bit of advice if you ever plan on taking a tour of every courthouse in Northeast Ohio like we did: Don't carry a pocket knife with you. The police will not hold on to it for you while you're wandering around their building. But if you happen to forget that tidbit of advice, give me a call. I have a few secret knife-burial spots in front of the courthouses around the landscaping. Boom.


Just when I thought the name-change business is over...
Wife: Finally! Now I'm gonna have to change my license, notify HR, get a library card, let the bank know.......
Me: Woah woah whoa. Let's not be too hasty. I say we wait a while to notify everything else.
Wife: That makes no sense.
Me: Think about it. You exist in this amorphous grey area with two names. You can commit a crime under one name, and you're really another. We could transfer a bunch of money to some offshore bank account under one name, and pick it up under your new name. They'll be busy chasing the old you that doesn't exist! Keep all your old documents! The Man will never catch on!
Wife: You have some issues you need to work through. 
Me: Opportunity of a lifetime. All I'm sayin'.




Another sign of the changing times hit later today. After we had returned home, and I fed Wife (she had a mad craving for a particular dish we shared with some friends three-and-a-half years ago. My buddy Sea-Jay made these little pizzas out of a french baguette, and Wife wanted one of those exactly. We made them, and they were tasty.). 


I then took to the park for a bike ride. Everything is soaked because we've been trapped under another one of the 278 yearly low pressure systems that get comfortable around Cleveland. Either way, I needed some fresh air. Some days when I bike, I pretend I'm running from the Law. Today was one of those days. Nothing stands in the way of me and warp speed on two wheels. 


Zipping through the paved trail, I recall entering into a wooded area. Last time I went through this area it was a lush green forest. On this day - the day of the Third Trimester - there were red leaves, and yellow leaves, and leaves falling. Fall is making it's presence known. I immediately stopped running from the law and realized something: 

it's time to start getting used to all these changes. 

Perhaps it's poetic that on the day we enter into the Third Trimester we also get a name changed and see all the leaves change too. Shocking as these changes may be, these are great changes! It's fall 'yall! Who doesn't like hot apple cider, leaves, hiking, cool air, football, and pumpkins? And Wife officially shares my last name. Now our leasing office won't have to assume we're just living together but that we're actually married! 


And the coolest change is what's been happening with the Kicker. The books say his iris's can react to light, his lungs are maturing, he can move in rhythm to music (something I still can't do), he's about 15 inches long and if the Kicker were born right now, he'd have a pretty good chance at survival. Really neat. 


These are some changes I can get used to.

Feeling in the fall mood? Read on! 

http://cneading.wordpress.com/2011/09/29/i-love-fall-part-2-lynd-farms/

Cheese Fries

Go back to being a youngster for a second. Think age 8-12. Remember watching movies at that age? You may see a good movie, then immediately want to be that movie when it was over. Maybe you saw a cowboy movie as a kid, then "cowboy" was your thing for a while. I repeatedly watched "The Sandlot", "Independence Day", and "Cleveland Rocks: The Story of the 1995 Cleveland Indians" when I was young. After every movie, I went outside to either play home run derby with the brothers, kill a bunch of imaginary aliens, or reenact scenes from the '95 playoffs. It only took two hours of well scripted cinema to shape the mind of a 10 year old and inspire him to be big time baseball player, or world saving superhero. 


Confession: a good movie still has that effect on me at age 25. I recently watched a movie called "Food Inc." which shows how mass produced food is made. The facts were startling. As soon as the movie was over, I looked up all the local farmers markets in town and what their hours were. Then I saw a movie called "FoodMatters." It talks about how the human body can heal itself if given the correct vitamins and minerals through raw foods. 24 hours later I'm dragging Wife to the market to stock up on carrots, broccoli, peppers, and a bunch of other fresh-from-the-ground-foods that I never knew existed. 


It's sad. I used to dream of being a bottom of the 9th home run hitting World Series winning champion!!, or a swooping in at the last second - earth saving hero!!. Now documentaries on healthy food get me hyped to be.................a super health food proponent!!


Yawn. 


But that's the way it is. And this doesn't make Wife too happy. She is 2/3 the way through this pregnancy, and it hasn't been easy on her. Growing a human inside a uterus requires a lot of delicate attention. It's a sensitive process really. All the books I read talk about how so many variables affect the baby's growth and development in the womb. But because she is the one that has life growing inside of her, Wife isn't always up for hearing my latest health tips. (my thoughts in italics)


Me: Hey guess what!?
Wife: Yes.
Me: I just saw that a diet of at least 80% raw foods will deliver the best amount of natural vitamins and minerals that can help the body defend itself against diseases and fight off sickness.
Wife: Great.
This is a long shot, but...
Me: What do you think about eating a lot more raw fruits and vegetables while you're pregnant? It could help make a super baby!
Wife: I'm hungry. Wanna go out to eat?
 I know you're not asking me, this is your way of telling me. I'll call Winking Lizard right now and tell them to have a hot plate of cheese fries ready for you. 
Me: I guess we can go out. Where were you thinking?
Wife: Winking Lizard
Me: I see. What are you thinking about getting?
Wife: Cheese Fries


For the past 4 months, Winking Lizard has had a standing reservation for us. They see our car pull in and immediately the wait staff sends in for a plate of cheese fries. We've become good friends with the servers. We know them all by their first names, and will occasionally catch their kids' dance recitals. This has gone too far. There's no getting through to Wife. She and the cheese fries are insuperable. 


Me: You know the cheese they use on those fries isn't even real cheese. It's just a bunch of...
Wife: Do I talk to you about your food while you eat?
That's cuz you can't dis super foods.
Me: Sorry
____________________________________________________________
(fast forward a month)


Doctor: Tell me what's been happening.
Wife: While helping my husband chaperone his group yesterday, we spent a good 8 hours walking around Cedar Point. Halfway through the day. It became painful to walk, and I started to cramp up. 
Doctor: Well.........my guess is that the heavy walking has given you some early contractions. 
You mean because Wife helped me with my job all day, she's experiencing a bunch of pain?
Wife: What's that mean? Is this a problem?
Doctor: Well, we will have to run a test.
Wait! It wasn't her fault! She never even complained. 
Wife: For what?
Doctor: To see if you're at risk for a pre-term delivery in the next two weeks.
Woah, she'll be almost 3 months early. Way too early. 


We later received a call from the Doctor saying that there was nothing to worry about. The test came back negative.  


As it was mentioned earlier, growing a human inside a uterus is requires a lot of delicate attention. I'm not carrying the baby. As evidenced by the conversation with the doctor, it's hard on the body. I couldn't do that. I don't want to do that. It's scary, and it's too much responsibility. She deserves a trophy, an award, a prize, or.........cheese fries. That's the least I could do for her. Stop badgering her about health and nutrition and at least get the girl some fries covered with ooey, gooey, (all natural!) cheese. 

Located in Huron, Ohio, this farm will actually ship you their freshest veggies to you!! Wow!! 

www.chefs-garden.com/