The Most Dreaded: Part III

Part III: The Shower

The final chapter to the Most Dreaded trilogy concludes here. To sum up the series, we had a pre-registry experience, and a registry experience. We end the saga with the actual shower today. Here are the links if you'd like to read both Part I and Part II in full.


I remember May. That's when we had our first conversation about the baby shower. When Wife brought up the idea of me going, I confidently refused. I based my reasons for not going solely on my gender. There was no other reason besides that. "Well all the guys do it these days," she responded. Then she gave me about 10 guys we knew who were at their baby showers. I didn't care. 


There was no way I'm going to place myself in a room full of pastel blue colors and balloons. She constantly tried to sway my stance by telling me that's not how it would be. Didn't work. This was a ridiculous battle. I've been known to give into a variety of arguments, but this was one she was not going to win. 


It's October now, and I'm staring at my closet trying to figure out what to wear to a baby shower. I'm going. While staring blankly at my clothes, I tried tracing back the last few months to figure out how I got involved in this. I may actually remember. Now that I think about it, every time Wife would mention the shower to someone, she just casually talked like I was going. Over time, I think I just to slowly began to believe that I was going too. Next thing I know, I'm picking out what to wear for a baby shower. Just like that.  


I ended up deciding on a purple striped V-neck t-shirt. My reasons for the purple tee: I feel most comfortable in V-neck tee's, and comfort will be important today. Purple is also a color that represents royalty and nobility. This will help show my authority. To top it off, I went with jeans and work boots. I figured it would show my tough side. Kind of like a yin/yang look I think. 


While driving to the shower, we came to blows over a matter that has been for the most part quiet. Being the end of October and all, the temperature has dropped significantly. Any normal person would layer on a few more clothes and turn the heat up in the car. Well apparently, those rules don't work for pregnant ladies. I haven't felt my fingers or toes for 3 weeks now. Our windows in the apartment are always cracked open. During the car ride to the shower, Wife decided to roll down her window a bit. I was not happy with this.


Me: Seriously, are you trying to turn me into Frosty or something? I'm freezin' over here. 
Wife: What are you talking about? It's stuffy and hot?
Me: Stuffy and hot? Sauna's are stuffy and hot. This is the North Pole. 
Wife: Sorry about it. You should wear more clothes. 
Me: No, I'm tired of this. I haven't warmed up in 3 weeks now!
Wife: Let me feel your hand...


She grabbed my hand. 


Me: What's wrong with your hands? They feel like they're running a fever.
Wife: Wow, your hands are cold. That's not good.
Me: I know. Can you roll up the window please? I can't even drive.
Wife: No. I'm hot. Doctor said it's all about how I feel while I'm pregnant. Including the temperature.
Me: Did she also dip you in a vat of molten lava when I wasn't looking? 


We arrived. Ready to party. First thing I see is a number of women dressed in purple. They must know about the royalty and nobility too. And everyone is dressed kind of nice. When I went to the rest room, I checked the mirror. What was I thinking? Really? A purple striped t shirt with jeans and work boots? How can I dress my soon-to-be-born son when I can't even dress myself? I put zero - well, actually the wrong - thought into what I was going to wear. For an occasion that promises a massive female turnout, I did a bad job at caring for my appearance. It looks like I spun the roulette wheel of party wear and missed bad. 


The whole shower happened fast. There were a lot of people we knew.  Much time and effort went into throwing this party together. It was...fun. There were two tables stretched end to end, and they were loaded with gifts. There was a lot of food too. We opened gift after gift after gift. And we got to see and talk with people we haven't seen in a while. This shower will help us get off to a great start with a newborn.


I remember opening one gift in particular that was wrapped in a bag of glitter. Like all glitter, this stuff poured all over my lap and arms and shirt. When we finished opening that gift up, I looked like a sunlit vampire from the Twilight series. All shiny. That was a perfect touch to my purple outfit. 


All the people and all the gifts. Family and friends. We're lucky. Actually, the Kicker is lucky. He's going to be born into an environment were there are so many people that care about him. That's what this shower showed. I'm glad I went. And we were thankful for everyone who celebrated with us. 


Afterwards, we loaded the booty into a couple cars and headed home. Living off the first floor creates a challenge when transporting 9 tons of baby gifts. But it happened. And it was cool.

No room to stand in the elevator!!!

Once we hauled the baby's stuff upstairs, everything was put into the empty room to be sorted later. 

Wife with the loot. Still can't believe we got that much. 

There you have it. Successfully conquered a baby shower while wearing a purple t shirt and boots. I feel invincible. Now I got to pack a bag to take to the hospital when it's labor time.