Closer And Closer

We are 5 weeks from the ETA. That would put us right in the middle of December. There's been a lot going on recently that indicates we are close to delivery...


Lack of mobility
I remember playing basketball back in high school. Our team got along really well. We were always looking out for each other. One of the bigger points our coach made was creating a turnover on defense by taking a charge. When one of our guys would get laid out on his back, and the ref made the move with his left hand behind his head and his right fist thrust forward, we were proud. First thing we did was extend our hand down to the teammate, he'd grab it, and we'd pull him up. You'll see that hand-clasped-pull-up teammate assist not just in basketball, but in all sports. It's a gesture that offers help, and displays cohesion of the teammates. 


Being on the cusp of delivery, Wife has some problems moving around sometimes. Her increased size has made it harder for her to do simple things. For example, when she needs to be helped out of her favorite spot on the couch, this move comes in handy. The second I see her struggle to get some upward momentum, her teammate - me - comes over with the ol' hand-clasped-pull-up teammate assist. It works perfect. We leave out the chest bump and butt slap at the end though. 


Baby room finished/things built
As it stands, we've got just about everything in place for the baby room. There's a crib, a glider (the new school way to say "rocking chair"), a dresser, clothes, books, a lamp, hamper, and so on. We even have one of those small wooden figurines of two parents holding a baby. 


Getting the baby room to that point was the hard part. Nothing comes fully assembled. Every time there was something to put together, I got my tools out. Not just some of my tools, all of my tools. Screwdrivers, socket sets, hammer, level, WD40, drill, blowtorch, circular saw, and jackhammer. Since we live in an apartment, I don't get to do much of my own home maintenance. Assembling baby junk is my equivalent of building a deck. 


Unfortunately, the only tools I needed were a Philips screwdriver, hammer, or Allen key. But you better believe that when something needed assembled, my whole tool collection came marching out. I've spent the last two weeks reading nothing but directions. Crib directions, dresser directions, swing directions, stroller directions... And now I can say I'm also fluent in both Spanish and French as well. 

Halfway through assembly and forgetting a few washers and bolts in the bottom of the box. 

Gypsy Couple
We were leaving the mall. Engaged in our own conversation, we didn't see an older couple passing by us. From nowhere, the kind lady asked us what we were having. "A boy," we replied. "Ahhhh a boy!" she exclaimed with her heavy Russian accent. She stared at us for a second then said, "And you're due next month. On the 22nd." Wife didn't respond because she couldn't understand this lady's dialect. I heard her perfectly clear but couldn't respond because I was shocked at how accurate she was. She didn't ask if it was the 22nd, it was almost as if she told us. I was able to manage a spattered, "Actually, it's the 18th." Then she said, "Yes, I can easily tell just by looking at you." 


The lady and her husband walked off as promptly as they came. I was floored. How could she be only 4 days off? 4 Days off is shocking considering we've heard guesses recently that have pegged Wife at only four months along. Four months? Really? I decided that this Russian couple must have some type of gypsy powers. I told Wife that if she delivers the Kicker on the 22nd, I will find that couple again and adopt them as honorary Godparents. And ask them if they foresee a Cleveland Championship anytime soon. 




While the above are signs that delivery day is close, there is still much to get done. 


What's most striking about the ETA is the first third of the acronym. The "E" part. E=estimated. Estimated to many guys simply means, "not now." And since the only issues I'm capable of dealing with are the ones happening in front of my face, planning for the actual Time of Arrival has been difficult. 


Of course, it's not unusual for a baby to be delivered early. While I cognitively understand that, I am physically having trouble of preparing for it. It's like being in college again: most people typically do all their studying and preparing the night before finals. But I can't afford to do all the preparation one night before the expected date. That would be nonsense.


Thankfully, Wife has been helping me be more proactive in preparing for the ETA. Here's how she's been helping me prepare...


The Route
Needing to take care of an appointment at the hospital, we thought it would be a good time for me to be familiar with the route to the hospital. The route really isn't that difficult. The hard part will be the time of year. Expecting in December and delivering on the east side of a city made famous for lake effect snow creates concern. Last winter, a white-out snowstorm created a parking lot of cars on the very route we need to take to the hospital. Workers leaving their jobs at 5 that evening didn't get home until 11. We must be ready for this. Now.....does anybody own a helicopter?


The most difficult about getting to the hospital will be figuring out parking. Wife showed me where to go, which entrance, and so on. Unfortunately, I had a hard time paying attention. Here's kind of how it went (my thoughts in italics):
Wife: Make sure you pass up this garage and keep following the road behind it.
Me: Ok
Wife: When you stop here, keep going past the intersection. Don't turn left.
Me: Yes
Wife: You keep going around the back of the hospital along this road until it dead ends into.........


Oh look, a train. It's goin' fast too........I bet I could jump off that bridge onto the top of it while it's moving. Then hop from one car to the other. Just like cowboys did back in the Old West. I'd get a six-shooter and stop the bad guy who was hijacking the train. We could get into a gun fight and when I injure him, I'd walk up to him and pull out my favorite Dirty Harry line, "I know what you're thinking. 'Did he shoot six shots or only five?'". Then I would arrest him. 


Wife: .......So can you make sure you remember all that? Because you're going to drop me off and have to park the car by yourself.
Me: No prob
We're screwed.


Who do you call?
When it's 'go' time, I guess you have to call the doctor. You say something like, "Hey, there's water everywhere and she's in pain." Then the doctor is supposed to meet you at the hospital I think. Anyway, the doctor has a number. And that number was put on a card and given to me by my responsible wife. I unfortunately have no idea where I put that card. Do you think 9-1-1 will eventually patch us over to the right person?


Pack a bag
The delivery usually requires a couple day stay at the hospital. This means we need to have a bag of clothes, belongings, toiletries, etc. ready to pick up and go. Wife dropped various hints that it would be a good thing to get this bag packed now. So I got right on it.....starting with the perfect iPod playlist for delivery day. And that's as far as I've gotten.


Now what?
The baby room is set, Wife is showing, people are predicting, and we need to be ready to go at a moments notice. But my plan of preparing on the 14th - the night before the due date - isn't the smartest idea. At some point Irresponsible Me has to become Responsible Me. The time to prepare, plan, and - most importantly - DO is now. So I'm going to get right on that........tomorrow sounds like the perfect time.