Cheese Fries

Go back to being a youngster for a second. Think age 8-12. Remember watching movies at that age? You may see a good movie, then immediately want to be that movie when it was over. Maybe you saw a cowboy movie as a kid, then "cowboy" was your thing for a while. I repeatedly watched "The Sandlot", "Independence Day", and "Cleveland Rocks: The Story of the 1995 Cleveland Indians" when I was young. After every movie, I went outside to either play home run derby with the brothers, kill a bunch of imaginary aliens, or reenact scenes from the '95 playoffs. It only took two hours of well scripted cinema to shape the mind of a 10 year old and inspire him to be big time baseball player, or world saving superhero. 


Confession: a good movie still has that effect on me at age 25. I recently watched a movie called "Food Inc." which shows how mass produced food is made. The facts were startling. As soon as the movie was over, I looked up all the local farmers markets in town and what their hours were. Then I saw a movie called "FoodMatters." It talks about how the human body can heal itself if given the correct vitamins and minerals through raw foods. 24 hours later I'm dragging Wife to the market to stock up on carrots, broccoli, peppers, and a bunch of other fresh-from-the-ground-foods that I never knew existed. 


It's sad. I used to dream of being a bottom of the 9th home run hitting World Series winning champion!!, or a swooping in at the last second - earth saving hero!!. Now documentaries on healthy food get me hyped to be.................a super health food proponent!!


Yawn. 


But that's the way it is. And this doesn't make Wife too happy. She is 2/3 the way through this pregnancy, and it hasn't been easy on her. Growing a human inside a uterus requires a lot of delicate attention. It's a sensitive process really. All the books I read talk about how so many variables affect the baby's growth and development in the womb. But because she is the one that has life growing inside of her, Wife isn't always up for hearing my latest health tips. (my thoughts in italics)


Me: Hey guess what!?
Wife: Yes.
Me: I just saw that a diet of at least 80% raw foods will deliver the best amount of natural vitamins and minerals that can help the body defend itself against diseases and fight off sickness.
Wife: Great.
This is a long shot, but...
Me: What do you think about eating a lot more raw fruits and vegetables while you're pregnant? It could help make a super baby!
Wife: I'm hungry. Wanna go out to eat?
 I know you're not asking me, this is your way of telling me. I'll call Winking Lizard right now and tell them to have a hot plate of cheese fries ready for you. 
Me: I guess we can go out. Where were you thinking?
Wife: Winking Lizard
Me: I see. What are you thinking about getting?
Wife: Cheese Fries


For the past 4 months, Winking Lizard has had a standing reservation for us. They see our car pull in and immediately the wait staff sends in for a plate of cheese fries. We've become good friends with the servers. We know them all by their first names, and will occasionally catch their kids' dance recitals. This has gone too far. There's no getting through to Wife. She and the cheese fries are insuperable. 


Me: You know the cheese they use on those fries isn't even real cheese. It's just a bunch of...
Wife: Do I talk to you about your food while you eat?
That's cuz you can't dis super foods.
Me: Sorry
____________________________________________________________
(fast forward a month)


Doctor: Tell me what's been happening.
Wife: While helping my husband chaperone his group yesterday, we spent a good 8 hours walking around Cedar Point. Halfway through the day. It became painful to walk, and I started to cramp up. 
Doctor: Well.........my guess is that the heavy walking has given you some early contractions. 
You mean because Wife helped me with my job all day, she's experiencing a bunch of pain?
Wife: What's that mean? Is this a problem?
Doctor: Well, we will have to run a test.
Wait! It wasn't her fault! She never even complained. 
Wife: For what?
Doctor: To see if you're at risk for a pre-term delivery in the next two weeks.
Woah, she'll be almost 3 months early. Way too early. 


We later received a call from the Doctor saying that there was nothing to worry about. The test came back negative.  


As it was mentioned earlier, growing a human inside a uterus is requires a lot of delicate attention. I'm not carrying the baby. As evidenced by the conversation with the doctor, it's hard on the body. I couldn't do that. I don't want to do that. It's scary, and it's too much responsibility. She deserves a trophy, an award, a prize, or.........cheese fries. That's the least I could do for her. Stop badgering her about health and nutrition and at least get the girl some fries covered with ooey, gooey, (all natural!) cheese. 

Located in Huron, Ohio, this farm will actually ship you their freshest veggies to you!! Wow!! 

www.chefs-garden.com/